Deciding to play Girl or Boy

Hi Everyone,

I've been dragging my feet on this one for a while. But I have this story that I wanted to share with you all cause I thought it was funny. Maybe my friend's "wisdom" will help you choose some genders for your future characters.

Do any of you remember a while back there was this controversy about some transvestite gamer who started a guild in WoW that was supposedly "Gay, Bisexual and Transvestite" friendly? Anyway it was a big deal a few weeks back and it sparked a conversation amongst my real life friends who play computer games, actually mainly the five who play Guild Wars. (yea we're a band of geeks, shut up or we'll convert you).

We started chatting about it and as usual we shot off topic and got into a conversation about whether you should play a female or male character and if it should be the opposite sex of what you are in real life. I don't usually do this (actually never have) but it was quite amusing, so afterwards I went back and jotted down a few things my friends said to share with you lot.

Note: I'm only gonna use my friends nick names to protect their identities, I'll let you guess what my friends call me. Anything in brackets are a comment or action, and anything in asterisks indicate the word was replaced (my friends aren't really kid friendly when it comes to language). Also I skipped a lot of parts indicated by the lines cause I can't remember some stuff that was said and other stuff was pretty inside joke and I doubt you'd have gotten it.

********************** A vote for girls **********************

Doe (short for Dopey): Everyone should play a girl.

Cy (short of Cyclops): Why? Cause you're a sick horny pervert? (laughs all around)

Doe: *frog* you. Didn't you notice? No one showers in Wars (that's what we call Guild Wars, yea we're pretty lazy, we even shorten names). But girls, they smell nice anyway. You **** take a guy like that and you'll be *pooping* your pants just to cover up the smell.

Pop (Short for Poppy, cause her face is always red, sorry if you're reading this Poppy, it's true): *Dang*, tell Scotty to beam you back up, what the *hell* planet do you come from? You think after all that running and fighting your *dung* for brains nec still smells nice? Everyone smells like *dung* after that.

Hardy (short for uh, ha...turn the light "on"): Yeah, remember last month? (we went camping for a weekend, no showers), Shofa smelled like *doo doo*. (Shofa, short for Short and fat - tho she's freakin tall and thin... don't ask, anyway she gave him the finger... in a loving way of course, we're all friends

Doe: No no no, hear me out, they smell nicer ok? Check it, they are hot too. And once you get into Shivees, it's all cold anyway so you don't smell nothing. It's all about da looks.

Cy: Dude that's cause you're a guy. I bet Shofa and Poppy don't think that. And after you get into Shivees, everyone smells like *dung beetles* after you get infused.

Doe: Dude *WTF* you talking about.

Cy: Have you ever looked at the spectral essence? Do you know why they call it essence? Cause every time you attack that eddy thingy it *poops* it's pants and that's what that Seeker dude smears all over your armor to make you infused.

Lou (short for Lougy): (laughing) yea Mursaat are like "Run away! That dude's covered in *poop*!"

Cy: Seriously man. The fact that the seeker rubbed *poop* all over your armor gets you so worked up you're infused.

********************** A Vote for Boys **********************

Shofa: I think guys should play girls though cause you get more help and they like to *play in an adult manner* with each other, like *suggestive talking over the telephone*

Cy: What you mean? I don't get anymore help with my girls than guys? Besides, it's mostly guildies that help anyway.

Shofa: Yea but every time you play a girl you get these 12 year olds wanting to have *adult talking* with you. It *freaking* drives me insane. But then again, when I'm on as my war (she plays a male warrior) no one wants to help me cause I'm a "guy".

Pop: No, it's cause you're a *wench*. Guys are freaked out by that. Especially when it's another guy.

Cy: No way! I love *wenches*! Besides (looking at Shofa) isn't you're boyfriend like 12? So what's the diff? It'll be like your usual dates. (death look + the finger, oooo that one really got her worked up).

Lou: I dunno, all my characters are girls, I don't get any problems.

Doe: That's cause all your characters look like they came out of a *dog's behind*. You should see ***** (character's name blanked out). She gets hit on all the time.

Cy: Dude are you gay? Not that I care, I mean whatever floats your *ding dong*.

Doe: *Fliiiiip* you.

********************* A Vote for Neuters? *********************

Hardy: Actually I think they should have neuter classes.

Cy: *OMG*!!!! We've been wrong about Hardy all this time!

Lou: Dang Hard *turn the light on*, when'd you get fixed?

Hardy: Shut the *hell* up you *mess* up. Neuter class would be the shizit.

Cy: Yea and it wouldn't hurt when the Char kick you in the *family jewels*.

Pop: Uh, what do you think happens when girls get kicked there?

Cy: oh yea.

********************** A Stupid Idea **********************

Doe: I know, why don't we start a guild and pretend to be like hot chicks and stuff.

Cy: Lets not and say we did. Besides I'm already in a guild

Doe: *frog* your guild they're a bunch of *pansies*. C'mon it would be wicked fun man.

Hardy: *dang* Dope (Doe's other short name), you ARE gay.

Pop: What's wrong with being gay? Besides I'm already a hot chick (snicker from Cy, and a whack in the head).

Anyway you can kind of get an idea of the stupid stuff we talk about when we're together. It's even worse when our other friends who play "WoW" join in the talks. Hope you enjoyed the peek into my freakish life. Until next time!