Once again, the DAD press team puts pen to paper, thusly cooking up another meal for you to devour. This month we
have our usual dishes that you've all come to know and loathe, but we've added a few new tidbits that may
be considered palette cleansers between each main course. Whatever you decide, this issue is made to order. Enjoy
the feast and don't forget to tip your wait staff.
How do we create an issue of the Shiverpeaks Courier when the past month was so full of surprises? Where do we begin? People got titles, old members moving on and new ones arrived and immediately made their presence known. Well let's begin with our very own Mystery Mesmer's account of the now infamous DAD Beach Party.
Wooh! Ok so let's start with that when! It was the 24th May on a Saturday. Granted, a little early for any kind of beach party in England but oh well it's always sunny on the isle of meditation. The party saw flocks of guildies fly in to take part in the events, socialize and hear the announcement of DAD's brand spankin' new leader… excuse the pun. If you don't know who that is by now, then I can't help you.
Nearly one year since Jule Shannara was chosen as the new DAD leader back in 2007 this party was a celebration of new things to come, a passing of the torch (or whip in this case) and new tidings. No DAD party would be complete without a few games. Hide and seek, scrimmage, trivia and a scavenger hunt were just some of the games on tap. Speaking of a tap, the party saw a sea of greens, golds, cash handed out and of course lots and lots of alcohol. With the new Mistress on her throne, it's fair to say there won't be a DAD party without booze. That's rule number 2. So as we come to the end of another era we graciously thank Jule for all his hard work in the past year and his continuous work to be hmm….a perfect guildie?
Click the links bellow for more Beach Party pictures
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1. If you don't get what you want, leave.
Firstly a perfect guildie must always reach out into their new guild and strive for the best… for example asking for an officer position, it's the best way to seal the deal isn't it? Well so maybe you don't get the position, but why? Aren't you good enough? Well that's a guild to leave for sure; every perfect guildie must be accepted as one first and foremost.
2. Be Vague
Something I've noticed is you must treat other guildies with utmost respect. Don't underestimate them. If you ever require help see if they can guess what you need help with. Don't name the place, mission and/or district. Why bother with pesky details? It will make for a world of fun, trust me on this one.
3. If at first you don't succeed, yell louder!
Every perfect guildie must be heard! This can be done by filling up alliance or guild chat with useless banter, but we're talking about the perfect guildie, we can do one better. What better way to attract the guild than to spam? Every perfect guildie must spam until their heart's content and their message is heard.
4. Beg
We now have the foundation for a perfect guildie, but we also have a perfect guildie with no gifts for joining the guild. This won't do. Do not settle for anything less than 10k in collections from your guildies. Use point 3 to do this. Notorious phrases such as "Can I have gold please?" and "Need money please" will suffice. But remember, you're the perfect guildie, always say please after your demands and they are sure to be met.
5. Guild Hopper
This method should only be carried out by the very extreme. A perfect guildie must have experience with guilds. So to ensure this experience is well lived why not join every guild possible and leave straight away? That way you can experience all the guilds possible and make your title as the perfect guildie sparkle that much more!
6. I'm Right Because I Said So
Your current guildies should be like a family to you yes, but they need to know you are better than they are. There's no point in having the title if you can't throw your weight around a bit right? Be confident in everything you say, your word is law, make sure your demands are met and that guildies know you're quite simply perfect!
7. I Can't Hear You
Once point 6 has been established and you're known as the perfect guildie then you have to secure this position. People asking for help from you whether it be physical gaming or just a bit of advice will only drag you down. Using the ignore list for little hiccups like this, is a problem easily resolved.
8. I Don't Care If You Didn't Ask I'm Going To Tell You Anyway
The perfect guildie must have a flare about them, a well of knowledge that bubbles to the surface, taking the form of opinions when discussions arise. Arguments happen but make sure you're a part of them. An opinionated player makes for a great long standing member! Those that choose to lurk in the shadows are not only boring but inferior to your high standing status.
9. I Told You So
Point 9 to make about been a god amongst the guild is to always floss your teeth. That and share your knowledge with others just to show how right you always are. You need to fill the shoes so remember, you're always right when it comes to the game and EVERY build can be fixed by your dutiful self!
10, Playing With Fire
Also helpful is angering the queen bee… the alliance leader. So to a normal person this doesn't seem smart but think about it. By angering the one in charge you make your stand. Face it they need YOU so why shouldn't you be confident?
11. I Do Too Have 15 Maxed Titles
If all else fails… lie. No one really knows how many campaigns you've finished. Tell them you've finished them all and be the envy of the guild. "Oh yeah I did Prophecies in a day, it was leet!"
So there you have it, my 18 months of experience been a guildie and haven't I just picked the dandiest of points to follow up on? Well ok I don't want all the credit for creating a guild full of perfect guildies, you need to put in the work yourself. In my research for this project I overheard a few blurbs and comments about guildies and what they mean to some. Granted, most of these don't make much sense but what do they know heh? They're so picky!
Uncle Noteeth: "The most annoying thing is when a brand new guildie is welcome into the guild and first thing he says is 'can I have some gold?'"
Bleeding And Crying: "Yeah I don't like it when people use big words, like Bella does"
I Am Maverick: "When they log on and don't say hello or bye or anything, quiet as a door knob until they need something."
Bob Is A Ranger: "The word 'pwn' annoys me, it's a stupid typo, why use it?"
Amacs Highlander: "I hate it when people start arguments, because I usually get drawn in. But seriously, you're set to away and it bugs me."
Cat Whisperer Jamie: "Guildies annoy me when they tell you they will be right there and then don't show up for like 10 minutes."
Popemaster Nick: "The shortening of words that make absolutely no sense."
Mistress Bella: "No booze"
Draco Zandros: "I hate you all, especially those new snot nosed ones, go away and leave me alone."
To wrap it up we have the 11 points for the 11 seconds you will spend in a guild and also what really ticks some of these DAD members right off. So remember no using big words for Bleeding: No shortening them for Nick or Bob, no arguing with Amacs and no dawdling when Jamie is on the scene. It also never hurts to treat the press team to any rumors you hear about the halls… we don't even care if you made it up.
The press team can officially confirm on the recent reports that Kitty has in fact, yes, grown a beard and joined the circus. A single candle placed in an empty litter box burns in remembrance for our little performer. Be sure to catch her act "Yarntastic", when the local sideshow rolls into your town.
Many have seen him go by many names...well now we know why. Bleeding has been performing a one man drag show in the seedy underbelly of the Shing Jei Monastery. Call ahead for a table, because the place is packed nightly.
Sandra Deathwish; new to DAD but not new to controversy, recently firebombed Draco's van in hopes of securing a spot in Mistress Bella's Minions Outreach Program.
Arena Net officials are still looking for the notorious Bev who has scammed items from servers of an estimated value upwards of 3 million in gold. She apparently coerced ANet to provide her with a private server for "testing" purposes. The Guild Wars Robin Hood gives these "hot" items to unsuspecting guild members. If you are found carrying any of these items they will be confiscated and used in evidence against her.
GameBoy has finally been replaced by the sleeker, more efficient DS. All his items and weapons will be sold at auction. We're told that GameBoy is filing suit for defamation of character, as soon as he finds out what that means.
Guild statistics show Cola is old news. Pepsi is now the most favored and will soon replace him in the upcoming months? We hear tell that Cola's reactions to this poll have been flat.
Godless has been spotted lurking in Bella's bushes and was arrested last night. He claims he was there planting TNT, but upon psychiatric evaluation it turns out he wants to BE her. Single white female indeed.
Newly returned Dorvan has already made an enemy with cat rights activist Jamie who caught him abusing one of his beloved cats, Pello. Witnesses claim to have seen the pair arguing outside of the guild hall about Dorvan's obsession. We caught up with Dorvan and asked him about the exchange. With a single cat tail dangling from his lips all he could muster was "Mmmmfpfff".
About to receive DAD's first annual HELP (Helping Everyone Learn to Play) award for going above and beyond, Mav had to help set up the podium, when suddenly a light box fell on him. No one was there to help remove it. Flowers have been sent to his room at the Gunnar's Hold Hospital.
We here at rumor central believe in humor before truth, something that upon further investigation Jule had surgically removed during a college hazing. The Sorority kicked him out a week later.
And finally, our very own Mystery Mesmer was recently spotted stumbling down an alley late one evening. Apparently after a night of tavern crawling, the Tyrian authorities came upon our Mysticuffs blathering on about Hoop La La and chugging a bottle of milk. The officers were so taken aback by her unabashed bias on the subject of "perfect guildies" that in their confusion, they left her wobbling on the path. Turns out she had taken their wallets and was seen the next day buying clothes for Zach and Imogen.
That's it for this week. As always, keep your eyes peeled and your ears open, for you never know who is watching.
The Stevie Wonder
How this person can play with a setup like this is beyond me. Maybe glasses are in order, or it could be they're compensating for some other shortcoming. Either way, the phrase "less is more" has been completely ignored.
The Chatterbox
We all know the chatterbox. You may know them as the Chat Spammer, The Town Cryer, or the Motormouth. As seen from the screenshot, it's obvious why this person logs in. We all enjoy our conversations in-game from time to time, but the Chatterbox has no time for quests. Oh no, they would rather ramble on about how their sister's ex boyfriend caught his best friend at the movies with the girl who your cousin threw a drink on at that party last year before graduation. Usually this happens when you're trying to conquer a particularly difficult mission.
The Minimalist
If you were to enter this player's home you'd probably see a couch and maybe a television in the living room. Cold, sterile and calculated; the Minimalist has no need for a cluttered interface. Knowing their skills by memory, this person plays with a single minded intensity. Ask for help and you may get "k" in response. Pig Pens need not apply.
The Hopelessly Confused
I don't think he's going to get a run any time soon. This character is definitely a descendent of the caveman who first tried to put a square peg into a round hole. God's speed, little window licker.
The Pack Rat
It's inevitable that the longer you play the more items you acquire. But, there is a limit, or at least there should be, for what you should be saving and what should be tossed in your bin or sold to the local merchant. The Pack Rat knows not these rules, for they save every stitch, every white weapon for they cannot bring themselves to get rid of anything.
Now, you may be thinking to yourself, "Well so what? It's their game so they can set it up any way they choose." You would be correct but remember, just like a car or your home décor, your interface is an extension of yourself. At the end of the day, it really is about preference but if I delved too deeply into that train of thought I wouldn't have had this entertaining piece to provide for you now would I?
BELLA: Ok, Let's start with something simple. How did you find your way to DAD and the insanity within?
ANTOINE: I just left the guild Bev and I made as was alone in Lion's Arch and there I saw Mysty recruiting for DAD and decided to join.
BELLA: Ahh, I see. You then brought Bev in soon after?
ANTOINE: Yes, she was alone.
BELLA: Well, I suppose I have you to thank for that, for I wouldn't be here if she wasn't.
ANTOINE: No problem
BELLA: Ok…*checks note* I hear that you have a thing for Livia, is that true?
ANTOINE: Oh! Did Bev tell you that?
BELLA: I never reveal my sources, but the word drooling was mentioned.
ANTOINE: Oops, well *chuckles* not really… kind of. Without getting into too many details, I'll just say I like her shirt.
BELLA: Well I did speak to Livia and she mentioned something about a meeting, but I digress. For some time you have been labeled as DAD's resident beggar. Is there any truth to that? Can we assume you've turned it into an art form?
ANTOINE: Well, I mostly only beg to Bev because I know her from a long time ago. It's against the rules.
BELLA: Another withdrawal from the National Bank of Bev?
ANTOINE: She's given me around 200k in total, not every time I beg.
BELLA: I think drinks and dinner are in order, wouldn't you say?
ANTOINE: I will one day.
BELLA: So, from what I've seen you seem to be turned up to 10 at all times. Are you an excitable person by nature?
ANTOINE: What? What? You mean 10 years of age?
BELLA: Ha ha, no like you've had way too much coffee.
ANTOINE: Oh yes, I am an excitable person especially with Akri. I can go crazy.
BELLA: I still think the two of you need shock treatment. So what's the one thing you can pass on to any new member that may make their transition a smooth one?
ANTOINE: Just have fun and watch out for Draco.
BELLA: Oh please, he's all talk and a big baby. I'd say watch out for Dorvan.
ANTOINE: No, he's my bff.
BELLA: Wait don't you say that to just about every new member, so how many do you have?
ANTOINE: I have 3. Ben, Gameboy and Akri. Are we done yet?
BELLA: Oh no, I'm not done just yet, beside you asked for this, so sit there and behave.
*ringing phone*
BELLA: Hello? Yes, I'm speaking to him now. Alright I'll call you back. *click* Livia say hello and you left your Barney slippers at her place. Alright, last few questions and I will untie… umm let you go.
ANTOINE: *struggles* ok.
BELLA: Ranger or Assassin?
ANTOINE: Assassin
BELLA: Beer or wine?
ANTOINE: Wine
BELLA: Favorite cheese?
ANTOINE: Hate it
BELLA: Favorite word?
ANTOINE: Meh
BELLA: Bricks or wood?
ANTOINE: Wood
BELLA: Fur or Leather?
ANTOINE: Fur
BELLA: Movies or music?
ANTOINE: Music
BELLA: Alright Pepto, *unties* Tell Livia I said hello.
Ben showed up late to the interview, smelling suspiciously of fermented rice wine, so he missed lunch.
Bella: Alright let's get right to it. What's the real DAD to you?
Ben: hmm, good one. Well that would be fun and friendly people I see every time I log on.
Bella: Ok, you haven't been on as much lately what gives? C'mon Ben the public wants to know.
Ben: umm "extra curricular activities" have gotten in the way.
Bella: You'd make a fine politician Ben. My sources tell me you're under the gun at school.
Ben: Yes, it's true. I have been suspended until a disciplinary board decides my fate.
Bella: So, what happened?
Ben: Uh, there may be minors reading this.
Bella: Did you make everyone in school listen to your Cliff Richard records again?
Ben: I don't like him.
Bella: So what's this autographed picture I have here signed, "To Be, thanks for being a fan" all about?
Ben: *grabs picture* I wonder where that went… umm… I don't know what you're talking about. *pets picture lovingly, mumbling to it*
Bella: Okaaay. Any particular reason for the rebellious streak at school, or can we chalk it up to teen angst?
Ben: Just relaxing after some hard exams.
Bella: Care to explain the Valentine's Day incident regarding Taby?
Ben: Incident?
Bella: Something about another person getting jealous that you two went to the party together.
Ben: I don't remember, it was a while ago.
Bella: Again, you'll make a fine politician. Well no matter I got the story from Taby* anyway.
*please read Taby's interview last issue.
Bella: how old are you Ben?
Ben: I'm 17 years of age. Which reminds me, where's my birthday present?
Bella: You speak to me every day. That's more than any trinket is worth.
Ben: Oh right… the eternal wisdom I get from you
Bella: Hey, it's not my fault you choose to ignore my fountain of truth and knowledge. Alright, a few more questions and I will release you.
Ben: ooh, release? What if I like the grip?
Bella: Most guys do Ben, that's nothing new. But I do need to get these chains cleaned.
Ben: Awww, but I like the rustic look.
Bella: Be that as it may I am moving on. Cookies or cake?
Ben: Cake
Bella: Rain or snow?
Ben: rain
Bella: herb or drink?
Ben: Mixed:
Bella: Last one. Can you tell me how much this restaurant bill is?
Ben: $65.17c
Bella: very good. *snaps fingers* oh waiter, he'll be picking up the tab Bye Ben *poof*
*editor's note: Shortly after this interview was conducted, Ben left DAD to form his own guild.
and
Odins Homeboy's Fractured Gods: The Rising Tides
Latherien Lainmer: DAD1
Sau Leigh: DAD1
Static Death Psycho: DAD1
Raistlins Alcolyte: DAD2
That's it for this month kiddies. Tune in next month where even more surprises are in store. Now get out!
How do we create an issue of the Shiverpeaks Courier when the past month was so full of surprises? Where do we begin? People got titles, old members moving on and new ones arrived and immediately made their presence known. Well let's begin with our very own Mystery Mesmer's account of the now infamous DAD Beach Party.
Wooh! Ok so let's start with that when! It was the 24th May on a Saturday. Granted, a little early for any kind of beach party in England but oh well it's always sunny on the isle of meditation. The party saw flocks of guildies fly in to take part in the events, socialize and hear the announcement of DAD's brand spankin' new leader… excuse the pun. If you don't know who that is by now, then I can't help you.
Nearly one year since Jule Shannara was chosen as the new DAD leader back in 2007 this party was a celebration of new things to come, a passing of the torch (or whip in this case) and new tidings. No DAD party would be complete without a few games. Hide and seek, scrimmage, trivia and a scavenger hunt were just some of the games on tap. Speaking of a tap, the party saw a sea of greens, golds, cash handed out and of course lots and lots of alcohol. With the new Mistress on her throne, it's fair to say there won't be a DAD party without booze. That's rule number 2. So as we come to the end of another era we graciously thank Jule for all his hard work in the past year and his continuous work to be hmm….a perfect guildie?
Click the links bellow for more Beach Party pictures
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The Perfect Guildie by Mystery Mesmer
What do you think of when you hear these terms? A skilled player, all the money a gamer needs, polite and helpful. Does the phrase perfect guildie come to mind? Well maybe not, but for the past year of being in DAD and the many interesting guildies I've met, I've begun to see certain points that make them the most memorable and defiantly the best guildies… well, maybe. So here's eleven things I put together to help you achieve the goal of perfect guildie.1. If you don't get what you want, leave.
Firstly a perfect guildie must always reach out into their new guild and strive for the best… for example asking for an officer position, it's the best way to seal the deal isn't it? Well so maybe you don't get the position, but why? Aren't you good enough? Well that's a guild to leave for sure; every perfect guildie must be accepted as one first and foremost.
2. Be Vague
Something I've noticed is you must treat other guildies with utmost respect. Don't underestimate them. If you ever require help see if they can guess what you need help with. Don't name the place, mission and/or district. Why bother with pesky details? It will make for a world of fun, trust me on this one.
3. If at first you don't succeed, yell louder!
Every perfect guildie must be heard! This can be done by filling up alliance or guild chat with useless banter, but we're talking about the perfect guildie, we can do one better. What better way to attract the guild than to spam? Every perfect guildie must spam until their heart's content and their message is heard.
4. Beg
We now have the foundation for a perfect guildie, but we also have a perfect guildie with no gifts for joining the guild. This won't do. Do not settle for anything less than 10k in collections from your guildies. Use point 3 to do this. Notorious phrases such as "Can I have gold please?" and "Need money please" will suffice. But remember, you're the perfect guildie, always say please after your demands and they are sure to be met.
5. Guild Hopper
This method should only be carried out by the very extreme. A perfect guildie must have experience with guilds. So to ensure this experience is well lived why not join every guild possible and leave straight away? That way you can experience all the guilds possible and make your title as the perfect guildie sparkle that much more!
6. I'm Right Because I Said So
Your current guildies should be like a family to you yes, but they need to know you are better than they are. There's no point in having the title if you can't throw your weight around a bit right? Be confident in everything you say, your word is law, make sure your demands are met and that guildies know you're quite simply perfect!
7. I Can't Hear You
Once point 6 has been established and you're known as the perfect guildie then you have to secure this position. People asking for help from you whether it be physical gaming or just a bit of advice will only drag you down. Using the ignore list for little hiccups like this, is a problem easily resolved.
8. I Don't Care If You Didn't Ask I'm Going To Tell You Anyway
The perfect guildie must have a flare about them, a well of knowledge that bubbles to the surface, taking the form of opinions when discussions arise. Arguments happen but make sure you're a part of them. An opinionated player makes for a great long standing member! Those that choose to lurk in the shadows are not only boring but inferior to your high standing status.
9. I Told You So
Point 9 to make about been a god amongst the guild is to always floss your teeth. That and share your knowledge with others just to show how right you always are. You need to fill the shoes so remember, you're always right when it comes to the game and EVERY build can be fixed by your dutiful self!
10, Playing With Fire
Also helpful is angering the queen bee… the alliance leader. So to a normal person this doesn't seem smart but think about it. By angering the one in charge you make your stand. Face it they need YOU so why shouldn't you be confident?
11. I Do Too Have 15 Maxed Titles
If all else fails… lie. No one really knows how many campaigns you've finished. Tell them you've finished them all and be the envy of the guild. "Oh yeah I did Prophecies in a day, it was leet!"
So there you have it, my 18 months of experience been a guildie and haven't I just picked the dandiest of points to follow up on? Well ok I don't want all the credit for creating a guild full of perfect guildies, you need to put in the work yourself. In my research for this project I overheard a few blurbs and comments about guildies and what they mean to some. Granted, most of these don't make much sense but what do they know heh? They're so picky!
Uncle Noteeth: "The most annoying thing is when a brand new guildie is welcome into the guild and first thing he says is 'can I have some gold?'"
Bleeding And Crying: "Yeah I don't like it when people use big words, like Bella does"
I Am Maverick: "When they log on and don't say hello or bye or anything, quiet as a door knob until they need something."
Bob Is A Ranger: "The word 'pwn' annoys me, it's a stupid typo, why use it?"
Amacs Highlander: "I hate it when people start arguments, because I usually get drawn in. But seriously, you're set to away and it bugs me."
Cat Whisperer Jamie: "Guildies annoy me when they tell you they will be right there and then don't show up for like 10 minutes."
Popemaster Nick: "The shortening of words that make absolutely no sense."
Mistress Bella: "No booze"
Draco Zandros: "I hate you all, especially those new snot nosed ones, go away and leave me alone."
To wrap it up we have the 11 points for the 11 seconds you will spend in a guild and also what really ticks some of these DAD members right off. So remember no using big words for Bleeding: No shortening them for Nick or Bob, no arguing with Amacs and no dawdling when Jamie is on the scene. It also never hurts to treat the press team to any rumors you hear about the halls… we don't even care if you made it up.
Rumor Has It feature by Mystery Mesmer and Mistress Bella
It's that time again people. Once again, the Duo of Dirt our very own Mystery Mesmer and Mistress Bella cook up some saucy, tasty morsels for you to taste. Be careful, the plate is very hot.The press team can officially confirm on the recent reports that Kitty has in fact, yes, grown a beard and joined the circus. A single candle placed in an empty litter box burns in remembrance for our little performer. Be sure to catch her act "Yarntastic", when the local sideshow rolls into your town.
Many have seen him go by many names...well now we know why. Bleeding has been performing a one man drag show in the seedy underbelly of the Shing Jei Monastery. Call ahead for a table, because the place is packed nightly.
Sandra Deathwish; new to DAD but not new to controversy, recently firebombed Draco's van in hopes of securing a spot in Mistress Bella's Minions Outreach Program.
Arena Net officials are still looking for the notorious Bev who has scammed items from servers of an estimated value upwards of 3 million in gold. She apparently coerced ANet to provide her with a private server for "testing" purposes. The Guild Wars Robin Hood gives these "hot" items to unsuspecting guild members. If you are found carrying any of these items they will be confiscated and used in evidence against her.
GameBoy has finally been replaced by the sleeker, more efficient DS. All his items and weapons will be sold at auction. We're told that GameBoy is filing suit for defamation of character, as soon as he finds out what that means.
Guild statistics show Cola is old news. Pepsi is now the most favored and will soon replace him in the upcoming months? We hear tell that Cola's reactions to this poll have been flat.
Godless has been spotted lurking in Bella's bushes and was arrested last night. He claims he was there planting TNT, but upon psychiatric evaluation it turns out he wants to BE her. Single white female indeed.
Newly returned Dorvan has already made an enemy with cat rights activist Jamie who caught him abusing one of his beloved cats, Pello. Witnesses claim to have seen the pair arguing outside of the guild hall about Dorvan's obsession. We caught up with Dorvan and asked him about the exchange. With a single cat tail dangling from his lips all he could muster was "Mmmmfpfff".
About to receive DAD's first annual HELP (Helping Everyone Learn to Play) award for going above and beyond, Mav had to help set up the podium, when suddenly a light box fell on him. No one was there to help remove it. Flowers have been sent to his room at the Gunnar's Hold Hospital.
We here at rumor central believe in humor before truth, something that upon further investigation Jule had surgically removed during a college hazing. The Sorority kicked him out a week later.
And finally, our very own Mystery Mesmer was recently spotted stumbling down an alley late one evening. Apparently after a night of tavern crawling, the Tyrian authorities came upon our Mysticuffs blathering on about Hoop La La and chugging a bottle of milk. The officers were so taken aback by her unabashed bias on the subject of "perfect guildies" that in their confusion, they left her wobbling on the path. Turns out she had taken their wallets and was seen the next day buying clothes for Zach and Imogen.
That's it for this week. As always, keep your eyes peeled and your ears open, for you never know who is watching.
Let's Interface! By Mistress Bella
Have you ever been sent a screenshot from someone for some reason and you forget said reason because you cannot get past their interface layout? What is an interface you say? Well, it can be also known as a GUI, but in a nutshell it's how your game is set up. From your skill bar to party window, your interface can be integral to survival while roaming the Guild Wars universe. But, just like life there are those that seem to be lost amidst the many, destined to wander in the mist alone and without guidance. Now, I am here to help you. Listed below are a few interface settings I have seen. Consider this a primer in hopes that if you are ever confronted with this interface, you'll be able to answer the obvious cry for help.The Stevie Wonder
How this person can play with a setup like this is beyond me. Maybe glasses are in order, or it could be they're compensating for some other shortcoming. Either way, the phrase "less is more" has been completely ignored.
The Chatterbox
We all know the chatterbox. You may know them as the Chat Spammer, The Town Cryer, or the Motormouth. As seen from the screenshot, it's obvious why this person logs in. We all enjoy our conversations in-game from time to time, but the Chatterbox has no time for quests. Oh no, they would rather ramble on about how their sister's ex boyfriend caught his best friend at the movies with the girl who your cousin threw a drink on at that party last year before graduation. Usually this happens when you're trying to conquer a particularly difficult mission.
The Minimalist
If you were to enter this player's home you'd probably see a couch and maybe a television in the living room. Cold, sterile and calculated; the Minimalist has no need for a cluttered interface. Knowing their skills by memory, this person plays with a single minded intensity. Ask for help and you may get "k" in response. Pig Pens need not apply.
The Hopelessly Confused
I don't think he's going to get a run any time soon. This character is definitely a descendent of the caveman who first tried to put a square peg into a round hole. God's speed, little window licker.
The Pack Rat
It's inevitable that the longer you play the more items you acquire. But, there is a limit, or at least there should be, for what you should be saving and what should be tossed in your bin or sold to the local merchant. The Pack Rat knows not these rules, for they save every stitch, every white weapon for they cannot bring themselves to get rid of anything.
Now, you may be thinking to yourself, "Well so what? It's their game so they can set it up any way they choose." You would be correct but remember, just like a car or your home décor, your interface is an extension of yourself. At the end of the day, it really is about preference but if I delved too deeply into that train of thought I wouldn't have had this entertaining piece to provide for you now would I?
Bella's Dungeon
This week in the dungeon is two members who need no introduction, but they DO need some discipline. This is where I come in. With whip in hand I force them to answer my penetrating questions. Major(Antoine) not surprisingly, begged for an interview. Then there's Ben, who as of this posting has now left to seek his own fortune. So maybe a little blood was spilled after all is said and done, but hey that's the chance you take when you cross my threshold.BELLA: Ok, Let's start with something simple. How did you find your way to DAD and the insanity within?
ANTOINE: I just left the guild Bev and I made as was alone in Lion's Arch and there I saw Mysty recruiting for DAD and decided to join.
BELLA: Ahh, I see. You then brought Bev in soon after?
ANTOINE: Yes, she was alone.
BELLA: Well, I suppose I have you to thank for that, for I wouldn't be here if she wasn't.
ANTOINE: No problem
BELLA: Ok…*checks note* I hear that you have a thing for Livia, is that true?
ANTOINE: Oh! Did Bev tell you that?
BELLA: I never reveal my sources, but the word drooling was mentioned.
ANTOINE: Oops, well *chuckles* not really… kind of. Without getting into too many details, I'll just say I like her shirt.
BELLA: Well I did speak to Livia and she mentioned something about a meeting, but I digress. For some time you have been labeled as DAD's resident beggar. Is there any truth to that? Can we assume you've turned it into an art form?
ANTOINE: Well, I mostly only beg to Bev because I know her from a long time ago. It's against the rules.
BELLA: Another withdrawal from the National Bank of Bev?
ANTOINE: She's given me around 200k in total, not every time I beg.
BELLA: I think drinks and dinner are in order, wouldn't you say?
ANTOINE: I will one day.
BELLA: So, from what I've seen you seem to be turned up to 10 at all times. Are you an excitable person by nature?
ANTOINE: What? What? You mean 10 years of age?
BELLA: Ha ha, no like you've had way too much coffee.
ANTOINE: Oh yes, I am an excitable person especially with Akri. I can go crazy.
BELLA: I still think the two of you need shock treatment. So what's the one thing you can pass on to any new member that may make their transition a smooth one?
ANTOINE: Just have fun and watch out for Draco.
BELLA: Oh please, he's all talk and a big baby. I'd say watch out for Dorvan.
ANTOINE: No, he's my bff.
BELLA: Wait don't you say that to just about every new member, so how many do you have?
ANTOINE: I have 3. Ben, Gameboy and Akri. Are we done yet?
BELLA: Oh no, I'm not done just yet, beside you asked for this, so sit there and behave.
*ringing phone*
BELLA: Hello? Yes, I'm speaking to him now. Alright I'll call you back. *click* Livia say hello and you left your Barney slippers at her place. Alright, last few questions and I will untie… umm let you go.
ANTOINE: *struggles* ok.
BELLA: Ranger or Assassin?
ANTOINE: Assassin
BELLA: Beer or wine?
ANTOINE: Wine
BELLA: Favorite cheese?
ANTOINE: Hate it
BELLA: Favorite word?
ANTOINE: Meh
BELLA: Bricks or wood?
ANTOINE: Wood
BELLA: Fur or Leather?
ANTOINE: Fur
BELLA: Movies or music?
ANTOINE: Music
BELLA: Alright Pepto, *unties* Tell Livia I said hello.
Ben showed up late to the interview, smelling suspiciously of fermented rice wine, so he missed lunch.
Bella: Alright let's get right to it. What's the real DAD to you?
Ben: hmm, good one. Well that would be fun and friendly people I see every time I log on.
Bella: Ok, you haven't been on as much lately what gives? C'mon Ben the public wants to know.
Ben: umm "extra curricular activities" have gotten in the way.
Bella: You'd make a fine politician Ben. My sources tell me you're under the gun at school.
Ben: Yes, it's true. I have been suspended until a disciplinary board decides my fate.
Bella: So, what happened?
Ben: Uh, there may be minors reading this.
Bella: Did you make everyone in school listen to your Cliff Richard records again?
Ben: I don't like him.
Bella: So what's this autographed picture I have here signed, "To Be, thanks for being a fan" all about?
Ben: *grabs picture* I wonder where that went… umm… I don't know what you're talking about. *pets picture lovingly, mumbling to it*
Bella: Okaaay. Any particular reason for the rebellious streak at school, or can we chalk it up to teen angst?
Ben: Just relaxing after some hard exams.
Bella: Care to explain the Valentine's Day incident regarding Taby?
Ben: Incident?
Bella: Something about another person getting jealous that you two went to the party together.
Ben: I don't remember, it was a while ago.
Bella: Again, you'll make a fine politician. Well no matter I got the story from Taby* anyway.
*please read Taby's interview last issue.
Bella: how old are you Ben?
Ben: I'm 17 years of age. Which reminds me, where's my birthday present?
Bella: You speak to me every day. That's more than any trinket is worth.
Ben: Oh right… the eternal wisdom I get from you
Bella: Hey, it's not my fault you choose to ignore my fountain of truth and knowledge. Alright, a few more questions and I will release you.
Ben: ooh, release? What if I like the grip?
Bella: Most guys do Ben, that's nothing new. But I do need to get these chains cleaned.
Ben: Awww, but I like the rustic look.
Bella: Be that as it may I am moving on. Cookies or cake?
Ben: Cake
Bella: Rain or snow?
Ben: rain
Bella: herb or drink?
Ben: Mixed:
Bella: Last one. Can you tell me how much this restaurant bill is?
Ben: $65.17c
Bella: very good. *snaps fingers* oh waiter, he'll be picking up the tab Bye Ben *poof*
*editor's note: Shortly after this interview was conducted, Ben left DAD to form his own guild.
Guild Happenings
We've had quite a few happenings this month. From titles and stories to someone reaching a storage bank of 1 million, DAD members don't do anything in moderation. Read on.Titles
Chronicles
Odins Homeboy's Fractured Gods: A Call Unto Battleand
Odins Homeboy's Fractured Gods: The Rising Tides
Misc
Congratulations to Raistlins Alcolyte for reaching 1 million in goldNew Officers
Sandra Deathwish: DAD1Latherien Lainmer: DAD1
Sau Leigh: DAD1
Static Death Psycho: DAD1
Raistlins Alcolyte: DAD2
That's it for this month kiddies. Tune in next month where even more surprises are in store. Now get out!
